Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
