Well douche your snatch and let's go!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
