try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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