Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ladies don't puke and tell
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
