You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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