she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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