I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize