I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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