Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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