SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize