You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?