Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.