it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.