OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
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He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...