But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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