we have officially lost it.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
