I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize