he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
