I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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