how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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