where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
