I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
