Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
