Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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