I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
