she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
