the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
