When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
