I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize