you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
