so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
