used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
