Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
