Swine flu. Run for my life!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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