I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
