my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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