It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
