He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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