chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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