She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
