I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
