Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
