We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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