i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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