drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
