ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
