I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
