Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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