yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
