is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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