Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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