I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
