It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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