the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
