So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I currently don't understand fingers.
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