I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
