dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
