dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
do nipples grow back?
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