And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
