So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
