How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
40s are totally the cure
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
