I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
