He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
