Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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