Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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