Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
