i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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